Memento
by JLynnB
Summary: Some things are more powerful than science. An AU in six chapters.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My rendition of 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'.

For devilbk, beta extraordinaire who refreshingly tells it like it is.

XXX

Sheldon exited the train store with a frown on his face. Since Leonard couldn't drive him to the store he'd taken the bus and the amount of time it ate up in travel meant Sheldon would be late for dinner at Big Boy. The only way he could maintain his schedule was if he took a cab. He flagged one down and went to the front passenger side window.

"Excuse me, but could I see your taxi license?" he said.

"It's valid," the driver said gruffly.

"I expect as much. I just want to make sure you look like the picture." Sheldon's eyes flicked between the photo and the driver.

"Do you want a ride or what?"

Sheldon nodded and, satisfied the license was, indeed, for the driver, got into the back seat. He did up his seatbelt and asked to be taken to the Big Boy on Cleaver Avenue.

As he gazed out the side window, Sheldon did his best to get the _something_ out of his chest. It wasn't anger at Leonard as Sheldon had felt this—anxiety?—come and go since he got up in the morning. He checked his watch. It was after six. His stomach did a flip. Sheldon frowned as he ran over his master list of things to do. _Am I forgetting something?_ His eidetic memory went through his day, finding nothing out of sorts.

And yet the moment the cab pulled in front of Big Boy he knew that a single layer hamburger patty had a better bun to burger ratio.

"Keep driving," Sheldon said. The driver checked out his passenger through the rear view mirror before obliging. "Go left on Overton Avenue."

As they drove, Sheldon would tell the man to turn here or exit there, but there really wasn't a rhyme nor reason for this. Again Sheldon checked his watch.

"Could you hurry it up?" he asked.

"It'd help if you told me where we are going," said the driver as he sped up.

"We're not going anywhere—turn at Cassandra and keep going."

Many businesses flashed before Sheldon's eyes as he leaned forward between the seats to scout out the area. Before the driver could object, Sheldon pointed excitedly to the left.

"Pull in there," he said.

"You sure?" the driver said as he turned into the center lane and signaled.

"Of course I'm sure. Why wouldn't I be sure?"

The car turned into the parking lot. Sheldon paid the driver and exited the vehicle.

He really couldn't say that he'd eaten there before, but for some reason he had a hankering for it.

"Must have seen a commercial," he shrugged as he opened the door and entered The Cheesecake Factory. Sheldon approached the reception area, oblivious to the wide-eyed stare of the hostess.

"I'd like a table for one," he said. The hostess consulted her seating chart.

"No funny business or you're out of here," she warned as she took a menu and led the way to the tables.

"Why would I conduct 'funny business' at an eating establishment? The preparation and ingesting of food are serious matters, not—" He stopped at a table. "This one will do."

"Your table is over here," the hostess insisted.

"No, I like this one." Sheldon looked around the room. "This one allows easy access to the exit, in case of fire, and the washroom, without being so close that weather or nefarious smells could disrupt my eating. Furthermore, I'm facing the bar and ordering kiosk, which allows me to—"

"Fine, fine." With a frown the hostess set the menu down on the table and departed for the bar as Sheldon sat. He opened the menu and immediately his eyes focussed on the hamburger section.

A short blonde-haired waitress carrying two dinners on a serving tray came out of the kitchen.

"Hey Penny," said the manager from behind the bar. "You've got your audition tomorrow so take off early. I'll cover the time."

"You sure? We're pretty slammed here," Penny said as she looked around the crowded restaurant.

"Break a leg, kiddo." She grinned at her manager and went to the table, missing his smile turning into a concerned expression.

After serving her customers, Penny noticed that the man in her area hadn't been greeted yet. She looked to Tracy, who was busy with a family of five, and decided to give her fellow waitress a hand. Penny took up a glass of iced water from the stand and approached him.

"Hi, I'm Penny," she said as she set his water on the table. "Your waitress is busy at the moment so I thought I'd—"

"You're not my waitress?" Sheldon said as he read the menu. "And yet you touched my drinking glass?" The strength of his gaze struck her as his blue eyes rose to meet hers. "Under whose authority are you deemed the 'water-glass toucher'?"

"Under no one's authority." She put on a smile. "Everyone here gets a glass of water, is all."

"After every Betty–Ann and Peggy puts her hand on the glass," muttered Sheldon as he went back to his menu.

"Penny."

"Hmm?"

"You said Peggy. My name is Penny," the waitress said, trying her best to remain friendly.

"Of course it is. You told me when you greeted me, although why you bothered to do so since you're not going to be my waitress." He shook his head. "A complete waste of time." He set down his menu on the table. "What hamburger do you suggest?"

"They're all pretty good," Penny said dryly. "I'm sure your waitress could—"

"Your barbecue bacon cheeseburger, it's single layer?"

"One patty, yup. But like I said I'm not your—"

"You've got a pad and pen in your apron," Sheldon said as he took out a sanitizing wipe from his pocket.

"Fine," Penny said with a flick of a scowl across her brow as she saw Sheldon using the wipe to clean his water glass. "And what will the kind sir be having this evening?"

"Doctor. And I'll have the barbecue bacon cheeseburger. Barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side."

Penny stopped writing. "On the side?" Sheldon made to speak. "On the side it is. Although you won't get more than if you get the kitchen to put it together for you."

"Having the burger arrive pre-assembled makes it harder for me to verify the quality of the beef," Sheldon explained as he handed Penny the menu. "I'll also have a lemonade."

"And one lemonade," Penny wrote. "No problem. And don't worry, we haven't killed anyone here so your burger will be—"

Sheldon's eyes widened. "No one was killed? As to what, no one was accidentally poisoned or choked on a stray chicken bone in a casserole or slipped on a wet floor in the washroom or—"

Penny opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out and so she left.

"Whackadoodle," she said under her breath as she went to the kiosk to punch in his order. She then went into the back, untied her apron and stuck it in the box, before taking out her purse from the cupboard.

After exchanging pleasantries with the cook, Penny exited out the rear door. It was a long day and she really needed a tub soaking to relax so she'd be at her best for the audition tomorrow. She pulled out her keys as she got to her car, opened it, and plunked down into the seat. A flick of the wrist and the key turned but after a weird, growling sound from the engine, all went quiet.

"Aw, not now," she hissed and tried again to start the car to no avail. "Unbelievable."

Penny popped the hood on her car and got out. She opened the hood and took a look at the engine. Granted, she'd never worked on a car before but she did rebuild her father's tractor engine when she was twelve. Of course it had taken her a couple of weeks to do that and she needed to get this done now.

She pulled out her phone but couldn't bring herself to dial. This would be another expense on her already overtaxed credit card.

"Maybe this will be a little job," she sighed.

"I highly doubt it," said Sheldon from behind, making Penny jump.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were eating?" she sputtered as she stepped away from him.

"Well you can hardly blame me for not wanting to eat there given the extreme possibility of accidental death," he sniffed as he held up his bag of take-out. "I was about to call a cab when I spotted you." He regarded the engine. "What seems to be the matter?"

"I dunno. I went to turn the ignition but it's deader than a doornail."

"Maybe it's the starter, or perhaps the battery?"

"Naa, it's probably the engine."

"Unusual for it to just quit willy-nilly," Sheldon said as he looked over the engine. "Usually the check engine light comes on."

"The problem wasn't with the light. It was merrily blinking away. It's the damn engine that crapped out."

Sheldon looked to her in shock. "How long was it blinking?"

"Anyways, I better get calling the tow truck," Penny growled as she slid in front of him and closed the hood.

"Do you have a specific garage in mind?"

"One that accepts bad cheques."

"I don't think any of them accept bad cheques."

"Sarcasm, sweetie," Penny said as she looked up tow truck drivers on her phone.

"I see," Sheldon said as he straightened. "While I could walk away because of the slight, my mother raised me to aid a woman in distress." He took out his phone. "Let me call AAA."

"You don't have to," Penny said. "I've got it covered."

"You just intimated that you're short on funds. AAA provides me with a specific number of free tows," he said as he dialed.

"But you'll need them for your own car."

"I don't drive."

Penny raised an eyebrow. "So why do you have AAA?"

"I ride in motor vehicles and don't want to be stranded at the side of a highway," he said and turned away from her to talk to the AAA agent.

Penny stared at this strange man before cracking a smile.

XXX

"You do realize that only addressing what's superficially wrong with the engine will cost you more in the long run," Sheldon said as he and Penny walked through a park near the garage.

"Tell that to my wallet," Penny sighed. "As far as it's concerned I just spent three shoe shopping trips to the Glendale Galleria in one shebang."

"That's a lot of shoes."

"No, not really. About four or five pairs at most."

Sheldon's eyes widened. "Four or five pairs? What are you buying, diamond encrusted shoes?"

"Nice shoes cost money," Penny huffed.

"My shoes are functional, stylish and didn't cost an arm and a leg," said Sheldon as he delayed a step to show his brown leather orthopedic shoe.

"I'll keep that in mind the next time I want to pull off the Frankenstein look."

Sheldon pursed his lips. "Frankenstein's monster wore boots. Besides, to follow your analogy you'd be the Bride of Frankenstein's monster."

"So Frankenstein wasn't the monster?"

They came to a bench and Penny sat.

"That's my spot," he said and, after a pause, she moved over. "That's a common misnomer," Sheldon continued as he pulled out a sanitary wipe and proceeded to clean his spot. "Dr. Frankenstein created his unnamed monster." He tossed his wipe in the garbage can to the right of the bench and sat.

"I see." Penny leaned back against the bench. "You said at the restaurant that you're a doctor."

"A physicist."

"You mean like a rocket scientist?" Penny said, awed.

"Most definitely not," Sheldon sniffed. "I'm a theoretical physicist."

Penny grinned. "So you pretend you're a physicist?"

Sheldon glared at her smile. "That better be sarcasm," he warned.

In response she touched her nose twice before looking out at the rolling lawn of the park.

"I'm an actress," she said.

"What have you acted in?"

"Nothing as yet, but I'm taking acting lessons and go out to a butt-load of auditions."

"Ah. So you're an 'actress'," Sheldon said, using his fingers to make air quotes. "That explains your presence at The Cheesecake Factory."

"Not everyone gets to the top like that," Penny growled as she snapped her fingers.

"I did."

"The only physicist dude I know is that guy in the wheelchair who discovered time," Penny said. Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Until this evening I never heard a whip about Dr. Sheldon."

"Cooper," Sheldon said testily. "And FYI, I'm a child prodigy. I went to university at age eleven, graduated with my first doctorate at sixteen and my second at twenty."

Penny turned to him. "Really?"

"Why would I lie?"

"Wow." She cocked her head and smiled. "You're one of those beautiful mind genius guys, huh?"

Sheldon's eyes flicked to hers, a slight smile quivered the sides of his mouth before he glanced at his watch.

"I hope this won't take much longer," he said.

"What time is it?"

"Seven thirty."

"Aw man," Penny groaned. "This is gonna take forever."

"An absolute, Penny," Sheldon tsked. "You mean this is going to take a while."

"A long while," Penny added. She looked at him. "You don't have to stay, y'know. It's awesome enough that you got me to the garage."

"Penny, I have to stay." His blue eyes met hers. "You're my ride."

"Yeah, I guess I am," she grinned.

XXX

Sheldon unlocked his apartment door and entered to find Leonard in the comfy chair watching television.

"Where were you?" Leonard asked. "We missed you at Big Boy."

"I don't recall you texting or calling me," Sheldon replied as he put his keys in the bowl.

"Well, 'missing you' is kind of a rhetorical thing in this case. I figured if you weren't back by midnight I'd call the cops."

"Your concern is touching." Sheldon went to his desk and took off his messenger bag and hung it off the back of his chair. "If only some people concerned themselves with other mundane tasks so much turmoil would be avoided."

"Something happen?"

"In exchange for her sparing my life I helped a waitress with her car."

"Waitress?" Leonard immediately muted the television.

"Yes, I ate out." Sheldon shook his head. "I had a penchant for a single layer burger." He opened his laptop and sat at his desk. "All of this could have been avoided if she'd only heeded her check engine light."

"Engine light?" Leonard croaked.

"Women, Leonard. One moment they're questioning your intellectual authority and the next they're serving spaghetti with cut up hotdogs."

Sheldon's phone whistled and he picked it up to check the incoming message.

"Speaking of women and nagging." Sheldon went to the door and across the hall to apartment 4B.

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

"Hello Sheldon," Amy said as she opened her door. "Where were you this evening?"

"At an eating establishment. Then I aided a woman who—"

At the word 'woman' Amy frowned.

"You know it's boy-slash-friend-slash-girl-slash-friend sing-along night tomorrow," she said. "We were supposed to pick out our songs tonight."

"My apologies," Sheldon nodded. "As it's near my shower and bedtime, I propose that I arrive at your apartment tomorrow a half hour before song time in order to go over our song choices."

"Counterproposal, you have dinner at my place and then we have our sing-along night."

"That sounds fine. Only, we'd best wait an hour after eating before we sing. I don't want my belly to hurt with the physical exertion."

"Fair enough, Moonpie," Amy grinned.

"Amy, only my Meemaw calls me that," Sheldon growled.

"I can see why. It suits you. Goodnight Sheldon."

"Goodnight Amy," Sheldon said before returning to his apartment.

 **XXXThree Months AgoXXX**

 _"What's the tissue box doing on my spot?" Sheldon gasped as he came into the living room._

 _"I don't need this right now," Penny sniffled from the couch before blowing her nose. "Can't you see I'm upset?"_

 _"The tears, the mucous, yes I can see that." Sheldon went to the couch. "And can you see that I'm upset?" His eyes flashed between Penny and the tissues._

 _"Fine," she growled, and picked up the box, only to put a used tissue in its place._

 _"That's uncalled for." Sheldon pulled out his sanitary wipes from his pocket._

 _"Quit fussing over your stupid spot and pay attention to me!"_

 _"Yes, you're upset. So aside from the need to torment me is there anything I can do to mitigate your condition?"_

 _"I don't want you to mitigate, I want a hug. I want a 'so how did your audition go?'" Penny sniffled._

 _"Given your present state I thought it was obvious how your audition went."_

 _"So why didn't you get your butt out here and console me?"_

 _"I am out here," Sheldon frowned. "I'm going to make you a hot beverage."_

 _"I DON'T WANT A HOT BEVERAGE!"_

 _Silence._

 _"All right," Sheldon said softly. "What do you want?"_

 _"I want a boyfriend who hugs me when I need it," Penny said as she got off the couch. "Who doesn't give a damn if I'm covered in germs and tells me he loves me without me asking him at gunpoint."_

 _"I think my actions speak louder than words," Sheldon said as he folded his arms across his chest._

 _"So how does 'my girlfriend's too gross to hug' say 'I love you'?"_

 _"Fine. I love you. Now let me get you a hot bev—"_

 _"There you go again!" Penny roared. "'Fine, I love you.' Don't say it unless you mean it."_

 _"You're questioning my affection?!"_

 _"I'm questioning the whole damn thing!" Penny threw her dirty tissues on the couch. "This is stupid. We are stupid. We're so totally opposite this can't work."_

 _Sheldon's mouth twitched. "As I recall, I informed you thusly the night you asked me out that we would make a rather volatile couple. You said it didn't matter so long as a couple loved each other."_

 _"I was wrong," Penny growled as she went to the door. "You were right. You're always right!"_

 _She slammed the door behind her._


	2. Chapter 2

Reference to: The Launch Acceleration

XXX

Leonard couldn't decide if he was the hero or the sniveling coward. He sat on his bed looking at himself in the full length mirror on his closet door. What he was about to do was really stupid—and backstabbing—but on the other hand if he didn't try he'd be kicking himself for the rest of his life.

"Why can't I be happy?" Leonard said, with less confidence in his voice than he wanted. "I like her. She liked me. It could work."

All he had to do was not make the same mistakes as—

Leonard grimaced as he got off the bed and exited the room.

"I'm going out," he said to Sheldon as he entered the living room.

"All right," Sheldon replied as he typed on his computer.

"It's a date. Well, not a date, date. But it does involve a man and a woman. I mean—"

"Leonard, I don't care."

Leonard reddened. "Of course not. Did I say you did? Did I just say that now? Am I rambling?"

"To answer that would require me to pay attention to what you say." Sheldon closed his laptop and stood. "I'm not sure I'm willing to commit to such an endeavor."

"Of course," Leonard said with a slight frown as he grabbed his keys from the bowl by the door. Sheldon did likewise and the two men exited the apartment.

Sheldon crossed over to Amy's apartment just as the neurobiologist opened the door.

"Just in time," she said with a smile. She glanced at Leonard, who smiled nervously before dashing down the stairs. "Come on in. I'm just getting dinner ready." Amy stood aside for Sheldon to enter.

Sheldon was at a loss. He looked at the door and then Amy.

"Ah. Go right ahead," she said with a smirk and went to the kitchen.

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Amy."

Relieved, Sheldon entered the apartment and closed the door.

"I'm afraid I haven't been out to the grocery store," Amy said as she added the spaghetti to the pot of boiling water. "I hope spaghetti with cut up hotdogs and Strawberry Quick will suffice?"

"And how," Sheldon said with a smile. "You know, my mother used to make that for me all the time."

"Fancy that." She took a bowl from the counter and went to Sheldon. "Have a seat—and a chocolate."

"Thank you," he said and took a piece of chocolate. His eyes widened in delight. "Dark chocolate. My favorite."

"Just make yourself at home while I get things ready."

As Sheldon settled himself on her couch Amy went over to her Bose music system and turned it on.

"It's funny. I heard this little ditty the other day and I can't get it out of my mind. I hope you don't mind me playing it," she said.

"That's the music for Super Mario Brothers," Sheldon said. "You know I spent many hours as a child playing that game."

"Never heard of it until yesterday. Have another chocolate."

"I don't want to ruin dinner."

"Consider it an appetiser." Amy smiled to herself as she watched him pop another chocolate into his mouth. "I was thinking that we don't really get out to do much in the line of physical activity."

"Our building doesn't have a working elevator. How much more activity do we have to do?"

"We could do something fun." Sheldon pished. "How about a trip to a putt-putt course?"

Sheldon sat back. "Now that would be fun."

"Then it's settled." Amy took out the bottle of Strawberry milk from the refrigerator and set it on the kitchen table. "Come have a drink as we go over tonight's song list. If we get this done fast enough we can slip in an episode of Star Trek before we begin singing."

"Yippee!" Sheldon bounced off the couch and went merrily to the table. "Have you a particular episode in mind? Perhaps in homage to tonight's singing activity we should look at 'The Way to Eden' as it had a traveling band of Space Hippies."

"An excellent suggestion," Amy said. "Now let me give the pasta a stir."

She wasn't the type to let out a girlish squeal, but if she were, this one would have been a doozey.

XXX

Leonard sat in the parking lot staring at the entrance to The Cheesecake Factory. This was Penny's shift time. He knew the seating area off by heart since up to three months ago he'd been eating there every Tuesday evening for over four years. Granted, this wasn't a Tuesday but he couldn't risk the possibility that he'd run into—

"Now I'm just being silly," Leonard said. He looked at himself in the rear view mirror. "Get a hold of yourself. A bird in the hand gathers no moss." He frowned. "Or something like that. "

He got out of the car and went into the restaurant. Leonard felt the flood of sweat in his armpits as he asked the hostess for a table he knew was in Penny's section.

"Hey you," Penny said cheerily as she set down his menu and a glass of water on the table. "Long time no see."

"You know me?" he stammered.

"Leonard, I was at Los Robles for four years. I'm not gonna pretend I don't know my ex-neighbour," she chuckled.

"Yeah. Of course." He smiled nervously. "So how've you been?"

"Pretty good until last week." She made a face. "My car broke down."

"That's too bad." Leonard's stomach muscles cramped.

"Yeah." Penny took out her pad and pen. "Good thing Sheldon was there."

"Sheldon?" he squeaked.

"Yeah. He's a customer. Called AAA and waited with me." She smiled. "Really sweet but kinda weird. But anyhoo, what can I getcha? The usual fajita without cheese or sour cream and a diet Coke?"

"Sounds good."

They smiled at each other before Penny departed to the ordering kiosk.

Leonard felt horrible. This had to be the stupidest idea he'd ever had. Still, as Penny walked towards him with his soda and a smile he knew he couldn't let things go.

"Here you are," she said as she set down his drink. "Your order shouldn't take long."

"Penny, just a sec." Leonard swallowed although his mouth felt terribly dry. "Listen, I realize that we don't see each other like we did and, well, I miss you." She made to speak. "I mean, I didn't think you'd notice me gone but since you have and you admit to knowing me I was wondering if you, I mean you don't have to, but it would be nice if maybe, sometime, you'd like to go out. Or something."

"Oh, geez, Leonard, I just broke up with Zack," Penny said gently.

"No pressure. I'd like to be friends first. You know, see each other sometime. Maybe something comes of it. Maybe not. But as Sophocles once said—"

"Friends is fine," Penny grinned. "Here." She wrote on her pad and handed him the sheet of paper. "Here's my number. Give me a call and we'll do something."

"Cool. I will."

They smiled at each other and then Penny was off to serve another table.

Leonard stared at the phone number. He was beyond happy.

And yet even in this moment he realized he was the lowest creature on the planet.

 **XXXTen Weeks AgoXXX**

 _"So are you and Penny speaking yet?" Leonard asked as he took the mail out of the box._

 _"That woman is impossible," Sheldon said with pursed lips as he took his mail from Leonard. "She puts dirty tissues on my couch and yet refuses to apologize."_

 _"And that's what your big fight was all about?" Leonard said absently as he looked at a peculiar letter addressed to him._

 _"More or less," Sheldon mumbled. He turned and went up the stairs._

 _Leonard tore open the envelope and read the enclosed letter. His face visibly paled and he took off up the stairs._

 _"Sheldon!" he called. "Sheldon wait!"_

 _HIs asthma made him gasp as Leonard raced to the fourth floor. He found Sheldon standing stock still in the hallway looking across into apartment 4B._

 _An empty 4B._

 _"Sheldon, I'm sorry," Leonard wheezed as he pulled out his inhaler and used it._

 _"Damnation, woman!" Sheldon growled as he pulled out his phone. He dialed and his scowl became downright frightening to Leonard as he hung up. "She changed her number. Come, Leonard!"_

 _"Sheldon, maybe we should leave Penny alone."_

 _Sheldon gave his roommate an incredulous stare._

 _"Great, now you've gone loony tunes, too," he spat._

 _"I'm just saying, if Penny feels strongly enough that she's moved out and changed her number then maybe we should—"_

 _"Leonard, she's impulsive. We don't have much time for her to reclaim her apartment. And yes, she's going to. Now are you going to drive me to The Cheesecake Factory?"_

 _"No," Leonard said quietly._

 _Sheldon snorted, pushed past Leonard, and ventured down the stairs._

 _Leonard went back to the strange letter and read it again._

 _..._

 _"Of all the incredibly stupid things she could do," Sheldon grumbled as the cab pulled into The Cheesecake Factory parking lot. "We had a disagreement not a dissolution."_

 _Sheldon got out of the cab and entered the restaurant. He marched past Helen, the hostess, into the dining room._

 _"Sheldon, what are you doing here?" Helen said in a low but harsh voice as she grabbed his arm._

 _"Unhand me. I have no desire for games," Sheldon replied as he looked around the restaurant._

 _"If you make a scene the manager's going to kick you out."_

 _"I'm not going to make a—" Sheldon saw Penny exit the kitchen with a tray of food. He marched halfway across the room only to stop dead in his tracks as he saw a brown-haired, muscular man at the corner of the bar lean over and kiss Penny. A moment, and Penny quickly kissed him back._

 _And then she turned towards the room—towards Sheldon standing there slack-jawed—with a smile on her face that she used to use on him and went to serve her customers._

 _"She replaced me?" he sputtered. "We have a disagreement and two weeks later she moves out and replaces me?"_

 _"Well she wouldn't have replaced you if you weren't such a bad boyfriend," Helen said with a slight frown. She looked over to the bar and caught the eyes of her manager. "Look Sheldon, Greg's seen you. Please go before you get kicked out."_

 _"I'll go when I damn well choose." Sheldon watched Penny as she went back to the kitchen. She smiled at the muscular man as she passed by. "And I choose right now." Sheldon stormed from the restaurant._

 _..._

 _Leonard sat in his chair chewing on his lower lip. It had been well over two hours and he'd heard nothing from Sheldon. What if Sheldon was in jail? Or perhaps had run away? Maybe Penny put him in the hospital?_

 _He heard the key being inserted into the lock and his stomach tightened. The door opened and a very stern Sheldon entered the apartment._

 _"How'd it go?" Leonard asked._

 _"I'll tell you how it went," Sheldon said icily as he delicately set his keys in the bowl by the door. "I found Penny at the restaurant ravishing another man."_

 _"Really? I mean, leaving you is one thing, but going to another guy?" Leonard noted Sheldon's jaw stiffen as the lanky man sat in his spot on the couch. "Did you talk to her?"_

 _"What was I supposed to say? Penny, how nice to see you. Perhaps if you'd quit sucking face with your boy-toy we could sit down like rational adults and talk things through," Sheldon said with a thick Texas accent._

 _"Yeah, I guess not." Leonard leaned forward and began nervously twiddling his thumbs. "So what are you going to do?"_

 _"I'm an adult. Penny has chosen to act rashly and immaturely. That's her way, not mine." Sheldon got up off the couch._

 _"Where are you going?"_

 _"To hack into her phone so I can track down her new apartment."_

 _"Sheldon don't." Sheldon paused and looked at Leonard. "It's not what Penny wants."_

 _"How would you know what Penny wants?" Sheldon said cooly._

 _"Well, you know, it's obvious that she wants this," Leonard stammered as Sheldon approached him with closed fists at his side. "So as the adult you should respect that she doesn't want—"_

 _"Doesn't want what?" Sheldon said as he stood over Leonard._

 _"You." Leonard dug beside him into the seat and pulled out a letter and handed it to Sheldon._

 _Sheldon paused before he took it. As he opened it he expected a 'Dear John' letter._

 _"The Fowler Neurological Institute?" Sheldon raised an eyebrow as he read. A moment later and he gasped._

 _"What the hell was she thinking!?" he said, and dashed from the apartment._


	3. Chapter 3

Reference to: The Adhesive Duck Deficiency; The Big Bran Hypothesis

XXX

"So how was your burger?" Penny asked as she arrived at Sheldon's table with the bill.

"Adequate," he replied as he dug into his pocket for his wallet.

"'Adequate'. Great praise from the fussy one."

"I'm not fussy, I'm particular."

"Eh, potato, potAHto," Penny grinned as Sheldon gave her a glare.

"Keep this up and your tip might disappear," he said as he pulled out some money and put it in the bill folder.

"Keeping it zipped." Penny zipped her lips with her fingers. She smiled at Sheldon and gave a slight curtsey as she took the billfold before going to the bar.

Sheldon stood and put on his jacket. Things were rather out of sorts tonight as Leonard was working late at the university on some soon to be forgotten research.

"Perhaps I can play on-line Klingon Boggle," Sheldon murmured. He zipped up his jacket and patted his pockets only to discover that his left one seemed rather empty. With growing alarm, Sheldon checked his pants pockets as well as his jacket to no avail.

"Something wrong?" Penny asked as she came by with a billfold from another table.

"My keys. I lost my keys." Sheldon kept rechecking his pockets.

"Maybe you left them on the bus?"

"I took a taxi. I must have left them there." He pulled out his phone.

Penny looked under the table. "Maybe you left them at home?"

"Left them at home. Pish. We have a bowl at the apartment where we put our keys so we don't for—" Sheldon suddenly cocked his head in thought. "Well, never mind. I'm sure things will work out."

"What about your keys?" Penny asked.

"It's no bother. I can wait for my roommate."

Penny paused before she let out a comprehending grin.

"You left your keys in the bowl," she chuckled. Sheldon flashed a scowl. "Oh, don't worry. Your mind's still beautiful to me. So, what are you gonna do?"

"I'm not sure. Leonard's working late." Sheldon sighed. "I suppose I could go to a coffee shop."

"Forget that. My shift's ending. You can come home with me," Penny said cheerily.

"But I don't know you."

"You knew me enough to call AAA and stay with me. That's good enough for me."

"I hardly think a single encounter forges a strong relationship," Sheldon sniffed.

Penny shrugged. "Fine. Spend your time at a coffee shop."

Sheldon paused.

"Then again, the likelihood of you harvesting my organs is rather small," he said.

"Thanks for the confidence, coach. Let me check out and I'll meet you by the door."

Penny handed in the billfold and got things settled before taking up her purse and cutting through to the front. She looked around but there was no Sheldon.

"Hey, you see a tall guy wearing a t-shirt with a lightning bolt on it?" she asked Helen.

"He's outside," the hostess replied. "Look, you sure you should be going with him?"

"Why not? He's harmless."

"Yeah, but he's really different, y'know?"

"It's no biggie. It's not like I'm gonna date him," Penny chuckled and went out the front door.

"Eyah," Helen muttered under her breath.

Penny nearly ran into Sheldon as she exited the restaurant. She inwardly smiled. _Well I did say, by the door._

"So how was your day?" she asked as the pair walked to her car.

"I see the chit-chat has commenced. All right," Sheldon said, ignoring Penny's giggle. "All-in-all it was a typical day, my bowel movement was regular as was my level of production at work. In fact, up until now my day has been uneventful." He raised an eyebrow. "Until you come around. Then it's nothing but chaos."

"Hey, you came to me, sweetie," Penny said as she unlocked her car with the remote before settling inside.

"Point." Sheldon opened the door and examined the car seat.

"If you pull out a wipe I'm leaving you in the parking lot," Penny warned.

A twitch crossed Sheldon's mouth before he took a breath and got into the car.

"See? All comfy." Penny started the ignition and put the car into drive.

"Your check engine light is on. One can hardly be comfy when one faces an impending mechanical mishap."

"Man, you're just a bundle of cheer." Penny went out of the parking lot and joined traffic.

"You went into the inner lane without signalling."

"I thought you said you didn't drive?"

"That doesn't mean I'm ignorant of the law"—Sheldon's eyes widened as he took in the speedometer—"as you seem to be. Rather a lead foot you have there, missy."

"Relax. Everybody speeds."

"If everybody sped then the limit would be a suggestion not an absolute." Sheldon went to check his passenger side mirror only to find it missing. "Where's your mirror?"

"In a parking lot in Beverly Hills." Penny slowed to a stop as the light was red.

"Why didn't you get a new one?"

"I have other priorities."

"Ah yes, like shoes."

"Yeah yeah."

"Let the record reflect that you haven't refuted my comment," Sheldon said with a satisfied smirk.

Penny turned to him and stuck out her tongue before returning her eyes to the road as traffic began to move.

"So, you said that Leonard was working late. Is this Leonard from Los Robles?" she asked.

"He's my roommate."

"Really? Good for him." Penny chuckled. "He was always so lonely that it got kinda creepy sometimes, so having a roommate should really help." She shrugged as she got into the left hand turn lane. "He seemed to be okay when I saw him last week."

"I've yet to see any widening of Leonard's social circle." Sheldon turned to her. "You saw him?"

"At the restaurant. He used to be a regular for years and then he disappeared for a few months."

"That's odd. Leonard and I usually have dinner together with friends. Until our meeting three weeks ago I've never been into a Cheesecake Factory." Sheldon frowned slightly as he pondered.

"Anyhoo, it's neither here nor there." Penny turned with the light and continued her drive. "Kinda weird though that he didn't say he was your roommate." Silence. She glanced at Sheldon, noting the pensive look on his face. "Something wrong, sweetie?"

"I'm—not sure." He slowly shook his head. "This doesn't make sense."

"Why doesn't it make sense?"

"Because I can account for every minute of every day I've been conscious since the day my mother stopped breast-feeding me and I can't see how I could have overlooked Leonard's going to a strange restaurant."

"Ah, well, I guess he was in the habit of doing it when you moved in. Y'know, neighbors hanging with neighbors."

Sheldon was surprised. "You lived at Los Robles?"

"Across the hall."

He pursed his lips. "I fail to see the humour here."

"I wasn't trying to be—Hey buddy!" Penny yelled out her window as she blasted her horn at the car which jumped into her lane without signalling. "Asshole. Anyhoo, I—" She took in Sheldon's pale face. "It's okay. We're here."

Penny turned onto a side street where there were a series of low-rise buildings. She signaled and pulled into a spot.

"There. All safe and sound," she said soothingly.

"Were I religious I'd say I've just experienced a miracle," Sheldon said, his fingers shaking slightly as he unbuckled his seatbelt before practically jumping out of the car.

Penny rolled her eyes as she went to her building, unlocked the door and stepped into the lobby.

"Aren't you going to check your mail?" Sheldon asked as he followed her to the elevator.

"The mailman's here early so I already got it." She pressed the button and waited. "Y'know, for the first few weeks it felt weird taking the elevator. I was so used to Los Robles with the broken elevator and having to take the stairs."

"The maintenance at my building is rather slow." Sheldon looked to her. "Was the elevator always broken at Los Robles?"

"As long as I've been there. I had to haul my stuff up four flights of stairs." The elevator door opened and they both entered. She pressed her floor and the elevator moved.

"That would mean you lived across the hall from me after Leonard destroyed the elevator." Sheldon's eyes narrowed. "Why don't I remember you?"

"Dunno," Penny said. "Leonard noticed me."

"When did you first meet him?"

"At the mail box." She chuckled. "The silly mail man kept putting my mail in his box."

The elevator arrived at her floor and they got out.

"It's kinda funny. Usually the guys I invite in are here for coffee." Penny unlocked her door.

"I don't drink coffee," Sheldon replied. "I promised my mother when I moved to California that I wouldn't do drugs."

Penny turned to him with a grin on her face before opening the door and stepping inside.

"Make yourself at home," she said as she dropped her purse on the couch.

"Good Lord, were you robbed?" Sheldon gasped as he noted the piles of laundry, magazines, dishes and assorted clutter about the place.

"Of course not." Penny went to the washroom to clean her hands and gargle some mouthwash.

"How can you be sure?"

"The coffee shop's probably getting full by now." She returned to the living room. "So, what do ya wanna do?"

"Normally I play Klingon Boggle on Tuesdays."

Penny sat on her couch. "Klingon Boggle?"

"It's Boggle, only in Klingon."

"You can sit down, y'know." Penny patted the cushion next to her.

"I'm not sure that's a good spot." Sheldon looked about the room as he went to the kitchen chairs and sat. "Too hard." He got up and went to another chair by her counter. "Too high."

"Okay, while you're all busy playing Three Little Bears I'll put on a movie." Penny went to her tv stand and opened the drawer.

"Do you have anything Star Trek?" Sheldon went to the red swivel chair by the couch.

"Can't say that I really watch that stuff."

"Lord of the Rings?" He stared at the chair before moving the base about three inches. He sat. "I've found my spot."

"Good for you. How about Ted? It's about a living teddy bear."

Sheldon shuddered. "Teddy bears are frightening."

"Okay." Penny smirked as she came across a movie. "Wait, you said you like science-fiction-y stuff. How about time travel?"

"Oh, I love time travel. Doctor Who is one of my favorite shows. He has a time-traveling police box."

"Well I don't have that, but"—she turned to him with a dvd case in her hand—"how about a time-traveling mailbox?"

"Hardly pulse-pounding entertainment."

"It's either that or Ted."

"Of course there would be a bit of a challenge putting on the correct postage," Sheldon said quickly.

"'Atta boy," Penny grinned.

XXX

Leonard yawned as he pulled out his keys and unlocked the front door to his building. Work at the lab had taken a lot longer than he'd anticipated. Still, he liked the results and, despite Sheldon's misgivings, he was sure he'd come up with something paradigm-altering.

"Hold the door, please." Amy's voice, from behind. Leonard did so and they entered the building.

"You're up late," he said.

"Normally my assistants run overnight operations but sometimes they need help." Amy raised an eyebrow. "I might make the same late-night observation about you."

"Ah, late at the lab." Leonard smiled weakly and they began to mount the stairs. He had no idea why he always felt a quivering mess around Amy. _I mean, it isn't like she's going to—_

"So Sheldon mentioned to me that you had a quasi-date. How did it go?"

Leonard's knees felt weak. "It wasn't a date, although we have a date now. A friend date but not just a friend—"

"Who is she?"

"Just a girl I met."

Amy frowned. "You don't meet women."

"That's not true. I dated Leslie Winkle. And Joyce Kim, too, well, before she defected to North Korea." For Leonard, the trip to the fourth floor seemed to be taking forever.

"So where did you meet this woman?"

Leonard began to sweat. "Oh, out and about."

Amy stopped them both in the stairwell.

"Where, Leonard?" she growled.

"At a restaurant?"

Amy gripped his arm. "It's Penny, isn't it?"

"You're hurting me!"

She pushed him against the wall.

"You're going to listen to me very carefully," she said, her eyes afire. "You're going to cancel your date with her and go on with life." Leonard made to speak but no sound came out. "I won't let you ruin this, Leonard. Don't cross me."

Amy let him go and went up the stairs.

Leonard waited until he heard her door close before scrambling to his own apartment.

XXX

Penny woke up on the couch. At some point someone had— _must have been Sheldon_ —covered her with a blanket.

"Sheldon?" she said groggily. She looked around but the physicist was gone, although things did look different.

Penny got up, the blanket cloaking her shoulders, and gawked at the state of her now clean apartment.

 **XXXTen Weeks AgoXXX**

 _Bernadette was busy filing the rest of the day's papers in the filing cabinets when she was startled by a sudden loud banging at the door. Her eyes glanced at the clock to reassure herself that the office had been closed for close to an hour._

 _Pound! Pound! Pound! "Dr. Fowler!"_

 _Pound! Pound! Pound! "Dr. Fowler!"_

 _Pound! Pound! Pound! "Dr. Fowler!"_

 _The knocking continued and Bernadette set down the papers she had in her hand on the desk and very gently closed the filing cabinet._

 _The knocking stopped._

" _I can hear you in there," the male voice said in a strong Texas accent. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what you did to Penny."_

 _Bernadette bit her lip as she decided what to do. Dr. Fowler's protocol was to call the police if anyone became unruly. Who knew what this guy was capable of doing? The hard knocking resumed and Bernadette picked up the phone._

 _Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler came into the main room. "What's going on?"_

" _Some guy is at the door. He wants to know what you did to Penny."_

 _Immediately Amy's eyebrow arched. "Penny?" She went to the door and called out. "Are you Sheldon Cooper?"_

" _Dr. Sheldon Cooper," he responded. "Is this the nefarious Dr. Fowler?"_

 _Amy opened the door. "Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. Please come in."_

 _Sheldon entered and she closed the door._

" _My office is down the hall. Please go in." After Sheldon had gone, Amy turned to Bernadette. "You can go home."_

" _You sure?" Bernadette squeaked._

" _Quite sure." Amy waited while Bernadette locked the filing cabinets and got her purse._

" _Goodnight, Dr. Fowler."_

" _Goodnight Bernadette."_

 _Once the office door was locked, Amy ventured down the hall to her office. Her eyes widened in appreciation as she took in a scowling and pacing Sheldon. He really was better looking in person._

" _Please have a seat." Amy gestured to a padded chair. Sheldon looked at it, snorted, and kept pacing. Amy settled herself at her desk. She reached into a drawer but for a moment before resting her clasped hands on top of the desk. "Now how may I assist you?"_

" _You can explain this." Sheldon took the letter out of his pocket and handed it to her. Amy glanced over its content._

" _I think its meaning is obvious, Dr. Cooper. Penny has undergone a procedure and a Leonard Hofstadter is not to discuss you in any way, shape or form with her."_

 _Sheldon stopped pacing and his eyes narrowed. "What kind of procedure? I looked up your institute while I was coming here and you specialize in some radicalized neurological experiments meant to rid patients of memories or some such hokum."_

" _Well, I'd say innovative treatments but I won't quibble." Amy opened a drawer in her desk and pulled out a file. "I remember Penny. Not that her case was anything out of the ordinary, but I found her details about you to be quite fascinating."_

" _What details? What did she—What are you saying?"_

" _Please have a seat, Dr. Cooper." Amy flipped a couple of pages but didn't read them. "Penny said that you are a physicist at Caltech. A child prodigy. Eidetic memory." She flipped to another page. "But she also said that you're"—she scanned the sheet with her eyes—"obsessive-compulsive, mysophobic, demanding, insensitive and 'absolutely anal about everything.'"_

 _Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I'm not 'anal' about anything. I'm meticulous and this extends over into my attention to hygiene and apartment organization."_

" _She said you broke into her apartment to clean it."_

" _It was chaos. I have no idea how she could stand it."_

" _You 'drive her nuts' with your 'silly rituals' like knocking in threes."_

" _She pumices her feet on my couch and talks with her mouth full," Sheldon frowned. "It's not like she's easy to be with."_

" _She said that you often treated her like she was an idiot and that she tried to get close to you but the only person you love is yourself."_

" _She said that?" Amy gestured towards a seat and Sheldon collapsed into it._

" _Memories are funny things, they're the source of our ability to retain knowledge and at the same time can be such a source of pain. Humiliations. Soured relationships. They can be detrimental to one's long-term mental health. But what if instead of being anchored to such negative memories we could eradicate the emotional core and fade the memories entirely?" Amy gave a quick smirk. "Problem solved." She cocked her head. "You're distressed. Let me make you a hot beverage."_

" _Herbal tea, please," Sheldon said hoarsely. Amy nodded and exited the office._

 _Sheldon was stone still but his mind was in flux as the implications of what Amy had said, the procedure, the—_ Penny didn't recognize me at the restaurant _—letter, the change in phone number—_ She thinks I don't love her. _A scowl came to his face. How absolutely overdramatic of Penny to think that a few disagreements meant—that._

 _Amy returned with two steaming mugs of tea and gave one to Sheldon._

 _He took the mug and set it on his lap. "So if I'm to swallow your premise that Penny has undergone a procedure to eradicate unwanted memories, why did she not recognize me when I saw her? Surely our entire relationship wasn't a horrid experience?" Sheldon had asked in an even tone but Amy could see his hand slightly shake as he brought the tea cup to his lips and drank._

" _Sometimes the sweet makes the sour seem so much bitterer."_

" _She underwent brain damage to erase me!"_

" _Which goes to show the amount of pain she was in if this seemed the better alternative," Amy said as she took a sip._

 _Sheldon snorted. "Or it shows how impulsive she is." He took a sip of tea. "Penny was always into all sorts of new-age fandanglery. Psychics. Voodoo. You're just one more charlatan offering a quick fix." Sheldon's nose wiggled as he began to feel strange._

" _The science is sound. I create a neural map of the subject in question via exposure to personal articles associated with the memories."_

" _It's still wrong." Sheldon blinked hard and then took a big gulp of tea._

 _Amy snorted. "You're coming to me with ethical concerns? Penny said you put ground up bugs in your roommate's food ' for science' and attempted to retrain her with positive reinforcement by way of chocolate. If anything, we're kindred spirits what with our penchant for scientific inquiry over all else." She smiled. "In fact, after listening to Penny talk about you I knew we had to meet. I—" She noted Sheldon's woozy condition. "Are you all right, Dr. Cooper?"_

" _I think it's the stress. I should go." He went to set the mug on the desk but missed and it fell to the ground, its contents soaking the carpet. "Excuse me." He stood up and went to take a step before collapsing to the floor._


	4. Chapter 4

Dialogue from: 'The Panty Pinata Polarization'

XXX

 _Penny smirked. "I'm implying you're a creature of habit. And if something were to prevent you from doing your laundry on Saturday at 8:15, you might find it—unpleasant."_

 _Sheldon did a double take, his anxiety growing before he gripped his laundry basket and dashed down the stairs. He heard Penny's taunt as he descended and sprinted through the lobby to the laundry room. Once inside he stopped, stunned, as all of the washers were in use._

 _Penny arrived at the door. "Oh, no, are all the machines taken? What are you gonna do?"_

 _"No problem, I'll just do my laundry another night."_

 _"Another night?" Penny lazily dragged her toe on the ground. "Well, I guess you can try, but deep inside your heart you'll know that laundry night is always Saturday night."_

 _Sheldon turned to her, oblivious to the fact that Penny and the room were fading away._

 _"Woman, you are playing forces beyond your ken," he growled._

 _"Yah, well, your Ken can kiss my…."_

 _"You haven't answered my question," Sheldon murmured as he nuzzled Penny's cheek with his own._

 _"Ak! You haven't shaved!" Penny did her best to slide to the other side of the bed but Sheldon kicked a leg over her before sliding his body on top._

 _"Well, we won't mistake you for a battle-hardened Klingon. Now, your answer?"_

 _"Kirk?"_

 _Sheldon leaned back on his elbows. "Kirk? How can the captain be the first officer?"_

 _"Maybe he's talent—Hey!" Penny giggled as Sheldon dipped his head so he could drag his cheek across her left breast. "McCoy!"_

 _"He's the doctor." The cheek torture continued._

 _"Sulu!" Penny laughed. "Chekov! Uhura! Nurse Chapel!"_

 _"Now you're being a brat." Sheldon went for her neck, but Penny moved her chin to intercept._

 _"Okay! Okay! It's Spock! Spock!" she gasped. Sheldon stopped his assault and looked at her._

 _"Correct, for two points." Their lips met for an instant. "Now would you like to cash them in or continue with Star Trek Trivia?"_

 _"How much to get you to shave?"_

 _"Not on the table." Again lips met. "Your choice, woman?"_

 _"What's two points get me?" Penny asked as she shoved Sheldon off._

 _"I can work a nipple with my tongue. For an additional point I can do both." Sheldon gave a gaspy laugh as Penny stuck out her tongue._

 _"Maybe I better cash it in, y'know, just to see if this is all worth it." Penny settled herself and pulled down the bed sheet to her waist. She began to fade away._

 _"Now let me see which one." Sheldon's mouth opened as he went for her…._

 _Sheldon paused for a moment before continuing to roll up the cable for the generator. Tonight had been an exceptional night what with the laser having hit its reflective target on the moon._

 _"That rat bastard," slurred Penny as she came onto the roof._

 _"I see your time with Zack has ended on an inebriated note. I'm surprised you didn't spend the night."_

 _"I couldn't. Not after that." Penny came over to Sheldon and sat on the skylight ledge. "I mean he thought you were gonna blow up the moon."_

 _Sheldon snorted. "Rather asinine assumption." He took a plastic tie from his pocket and secured the cable._

 _"I mean, after dating Leonard, all these guys seem so dumb."_

 _"Well, if it makes you feel any better, Leonard's not all that bright. He'd make an adequate professor or manager at an Apple Genius bar."_

 _"'Cause you're the super genius, right?" Penny smirked._

 _"I'd have to drop twenty IQ points to be a genius, super or otherwise," Sheldon sniffed._

 _"Huh." Penny thought for a moment. "Guess smart is the new sexy."_

 _"In that case, I'm neodymium-strength."_

 _"What?"_

 _"More attractive than a pile of warm cow dung to a fly."_

 _"Ah." Penny looked at the stars. "So you're cow dung. I'm pretty good at tipping cows."_

 _"Impossible."_

 _"It's easy if you know how." Penny got off the ledge._

 _"Really," Sheldon snorted. "Care to enlight—"_

 _Penny pulled his head down and they locked lips. A Mississippi went by, and then two, before they broke. They looked at each other, Sheldon in surprise and Penny, with a mischievous grin._

 _"Tipped ya," she said. She wrapped her arms around his waist. "Y'know, I could get used to this."_

 _"The intoxication or the kissing?"_

 _"The kissing." She smiled. "We should go out."_

 _"Hardly," Sheldon said as he slid in his arm to break her hug. "We are not compatible."_

 _"Sure we are. I'm Yin and you're Yang."_

 _"No, you're hokum and I'm reason."_

 _"So you're saying you don't feel anything for me?" Penny pouted._

 _"You're my friend and neighbour, of course I hold you in high regard."_

 _"Then date me."_

 _"I don't want to date anyone."_

 _"That's because you haven't dated."_

 _"I also haven't skinny dipped in a volcano but I'm sure I don't want to do that," Sheldon twanged, causing Penny to roll her eyes. "Besides, I've seen you in your sweat suit eating Rocky Road and blowing your nose after many a breakup. Why would I inflict myself with that?"_

 _Penny bit her lip before her mouth slid into a sly smile. "You said I'm your friend, right?"_

 _"Yes," Sheldon said warily._

 _"Then wouldn't you want me to be with the best guy?"_

 _"Yes, however I—"_

 _Penny grinned. "So who do you know that's better than you?"_

 _Sheldon opened his mouth before he closed it and scowled. "Curse you, woman."_

 _"So it's a date?" She began to fade._

 _"A disaster is more like it."_

 _Penny snuggled against his chest. "Sheldon it doesn't matter that we're different. If a couple love each other then things work out."_

 _"You're impossi—"_

 _Sheldon was alone on the rooftop…._

 _"I can't believe you went to the comic book store," Penny growled as she drove. "I mean, sure, Wednesdays I understand, but on a Thursday? And our anniversary?"_

 _As she continued her tirade Sheldon sat looking out the side window. All of this seemed familiar to him. He held up his right hand to examine it. He then checked out his left, flexing his fingers._

 _"Stop the car. I don't feel well," Sheldon said._

 _"I'd love to stop and leave you at the side of the road for—"_

 _"Penny, please."_

 _Immediately she turned her head to him. Sheldon Cooper never said please._

 _"You okay, sweetie?" She signalled and pulled off to the side of the road._

 _"I'm not sure."_

 _"Is it your stomach? Headache?"_

 _He shook his head. "It's everything."_

 _"So you want to skip work and go home? I can make you some tea and—"_

 _Sheldon's eyes widened. "Tea!"_

 _"Yeah, te—"_

 _"Shh!" He strained to recall and then—"Tea!" He turned to Penny. "Drive."_

 _"Where? Home or—"_

 _"Just drive!" Sheldon noted that things were fading out. "Faster!"_

 _Penny floored it. "I'm driving! Just calm down and…."_

 _With a strong putt, Penny's ball made it past the windmill entrance and down the slope to the hole._

 _"Yes!" She pumped her fist. "Eat that trajectory, Sheldon." She turned to her boyfriend who stood, stunned, with a golf putter in hand. "You're up." He didn't move. "Sheldon."_

 _He stepped forth with a slight frown. "I'm going to hit it through the windmill, contact your ball, and send it directly into the hole." Sheldon hit the ball and Penny watched in amazement as what he had predicted came to pass._

 _"That's amazing," she cooed._

 _"This is a memory." Sheldon stared at his club before looking to the clear sky. "Something is happening to my memories."_

 _"Is it a stroke or something?" Penny asked._

 _"It's not a stroke. You're being erased." He stood away from Penny. "Dr. Fowler! Stop this now!"_

 _"Erased?"_

 _"Yes, erased. Dr. Fowler! I know what you're doing!"_

 _"Sheldon, what's happening? Who's Dr. Fowler? What are you—"_

 _Sheldon closed his eyes. "Wake up, wake up, wake up." He shook his head before extending his foot and slamming it as hard as he could with his putter. "Ah!" He used his putter as a cane even as he doubled over in pain._

 _Penny was at his side. "What the hell did you do that for? Sheldon—" She took in his expression and immediately shut up. He was absolutely terrified. "Honey, let's get some ice on your foot."_

 _He shook his head. "No time. The memory-dream will be erased soon."_

 _"This is a memory-dream?" Penny looked at herself. "Huh. O-kay, so if this is a dream, why not just wake up?"_

 _"Because my tea has been drugged by Dr. Fowler." Sheldon winced as he tried to put weight on his foot. "For some inexplicable reason she's erasing my memories of you."_

 _"Maybe I'll find you and—"_

 _"Your memories of me are already gone." Penny's mouth dropped. "Yes, the only reason why I met Dr. Fowler was to confront her about your procedure—which you underwent voluntarily I might add."_

 _"Why would I do that?" Penny said, horrified._

 _"Because apparently I'm a bad boyfriend."_

 _"This is insane! I mean, yeah, you're a complete whackadoodle sometimes but to do this?"_

 _"We have to get out of here." Sheldon put his hand on Penny's shoulder for support._

 _"Where? We're in your head."_

 _"In my head." Sheldon stopped to think, oblivious to his fading surroundings. His eyes brightened. "I've got it! Penny we have to…."_

 _"Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little ball of fur," Penny sang as she sat on Sheldon's bed applying Vaporub to his chest._

 _"Stop this and get off," Sheldon said with a stuffy nose as he tried to throw back his blankets._

 _"Sheldon, you're sick," Penny said as she obliged._

 _"I wish I was," he murmured as he stood. There was a wave of vertigo and his head felt swimmy. He slung his arm across Penny's shoulder. "Come on."_

 _"Where are we going?" she asked as they made their way to his bedroom door._

 _"Another memory."_

 _"What?" Penny opened the bedroom door…._

 _"There you go, Shelly," said Mary Cooper as she sat him down on the kiddie potty._

 _"I want my diaper," Sheldon whined._

 _"I know, sugar, but it's time for you to be grown up." She handed him a notebook and a pencil. "Now you just go on with your doodles and I'll check on you in a bit."_

 _"Where the hell are we?" Penny said after Mary had left the washroom._

 _"A memory when I was eighteen months old," Sheldon replied. He looked to Penny before realizing he was naked and quickly covered his genitals with his notebook._

 _"So what am I doing here?"_

 _"Hiding from Dr. Fowler." Sheldon's face wrinkled in a strain as he wiggled his butt from side to side._

 _Penny was confused. "How can we hide? I mean, we're in your brain, right?"_

 _"Yes, but she's looking for you in a certain area of my memories. This is an old memory so hopefully she won't find you here."_

 _"Okay." Penny indicated the notebook. "What's that?"_

 _"Oh. My Potty Journal."_

 _"So this is where your poop charts come from!" Penny laughed. "Holy crap, Sheldon, you can't let anything go, can you?" She reached for the book. "Let me see."_

 _"No." Sheldon used one hand to shoo her back._

 _"Sweetie, it isn't like I haven't seen you naked before."_

 _"But not in the process of defecating!"_

 _Penny sighed. "So we're gonna spend how long watching you poop?"_

 _"Another seventeen minutes. Then mother is going to clean me up and put me in my pyjama bottoms." He noted Penny's nose wrinkle. "It's either this or oblivion."_

 _"Well, when you put it that way, to the poop deck, Captain!" Penny smiled at Sheldon's scowl. "Drop the anchors, plop, plop, plop."_

 _"You're not helping," he growled. "In fact, you're increasing my humiliation tenfold."_

 _Penny winked at him and…._

 _"Oh wow," Penny gasped as she looked at the expanse of the night sky. She rolled her head over to Sheldon, who lay next to her on the hood of her car. "You know all about this stuff."_

 _"Every moment of my life I spend time unravelling the mysteries of the universe." Sheldon frowned. "Dr. Fowler found us. She's far more skilled than I hoped."_

 _"You mean we're gonna lose this night?" Penny sat up. "This was the night you kissed me. We can't lose this!"_

 _"This memory is directly linked to you. There's no way to hide it." Sheldon thought a moment before he let out a grunt. "I'm not sure where to hide you. With every failure the amount of brain damage I'm incurring increases."_

 _Penny shook her head. "This is stupid. Sheldon, honey, you've got to let me go."_

 _Sheldon sat up and took her hand. "Never…."_

 _"Hey Pooper! Got nowhere to run now!"_

 _Sheldon and Penny were running down a series of laneways. He was gasping for air even though he knew this was all a fool's folly._

 _"Why are you stopping?" Penny said as she heard the taunts and footfalls of several people heading in their direction._

 _"Because they steered me away from Folsom Avenue and there are no exits from this laneway," Sheldon wheezed. "With all this running all I'm going to do is die tired."_

 _"Who are these guys?"_

 _"The neighbourhood kids." Sheldon snorted. "At least this is one memory I'm grateful to give up."_

 _Penny looked ahead as five boys, about eight years of age, came down the laneway._

 _"You're in for a world of hurt, Pooper," a red-haired lad said._

 _"It's not my fault you're too stupid to understand basic chemical reactions," Sheldon replied._

 _"Uh, sweetie, not really helping things," Penny said._

 _"You fizzed out my soda. Now you're gonna die," red-head growled as he shoved Sheldon against the wall._

 _"You might not want to see this," Sheldon said to Penny just before a meaty hand punched him in the gut…._

 _Sheldon looked out over the Arctic tundra on a beautiful sunlit morning. His breaths were as thick smoke coming from his mouth._

 _"Oh my God, this is beautiful," Penny whispered._

 _"Dry and clear," Sheldon agreed. "The snow is so incredibly dry it crunches." He demonstrated with his feet._

 _"And in the light everything looks like they're covered in diamonds."_

 _"I also have memories of when we saw the polar bears. Perhaps we should go there next and—"_

 _"No."_

 _"All right, we don't have to—"_

 _"Enough Moonpie," Penny said, tears streaking down her cheeks._

 _"Penny—"_

 _She placed her hand on his cheek. "Enough…."_

 _Sheldon came out of the change room wearing a dark suit and tie._

 _"I won't remember you," he said to Penny._

 _"Maybe there's something else," Penny replied as she wiped her cheeks._

 _"Not a face or a name—but maybe a place." Sheldon snapped his fingers. "Every Tuesday at the Cheesecake Factory."_

 _"Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger," Penny agreed with a little smile…._

 _Sheldon opened the box and read the message from Leonard Nimoy on the napkin._

 _"Happy Saturnalia, Sheldon!" Penny grinned. Penny in her Santa hat and brown fuzzy slipper boots._

 _Sheldon tossed the present aside onto the coffee table before pulling Penny into him and planting a desperate kiss as if it could delay the inevitable._

 _The kiss broke and blue eyes met green._

 _"I love you," Sheldon said. "More than you'll ever know…."_

 _XXX_

 _Amy let out a tired sigh as she closed off the computer program. It had taken far longer than normal to erase Sheldon's memories of Penny. Some of it was due to the sheer volume of them given his eidetic memory but there were also some curiosities at play as there were sporadic traces of Penny in areas where she shouldn't have been._

 _"Was he fighting me?" Amy mused as she went to a counter where Sheldon's stuff was. "Well, this was a rather unorthodox procedure." She picked up his phone and turned it on. Immediately she went to the address book and looked up Penny. With a smirk she erased the entry before proceeding to Leonard Hofstadter. Penny had mentioned that he was roommates with Sheldon. Amy dialled._

 _"Hello?" Leonard said._

 _"Hello, this is Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. I have a Sheldon Cooper here at my institute. I need you to gather every speck of Penny from the apartment and bring it here. There must be nothing left that's associated with her."_

 _"What—why?"_

 _"Sheldon has undergone a memory procedure to forget her. Having her things around will only undo the process. I'm on 583 Alcore Ave. Come alone and tell no one about this."_

 _Amy hung up and proceeded to look through Sheldon's phone._

 _There was a picture of Penny sitting on Sheldon's lap._

 _"They look happy," Amy said before deleting the picture and moving on to the next._


	5. Chapter 5

"So where are we going?" Penny asked as Leonard drove out into the desert.

"I thought we'd do a little stargazing," he replied.

He stopped the car at the end of a paved strip that faced the heart of the desert. They got out and Leonard took a blanket from the back seat and covered the hood of the car.

"After you, Madam," he said.

"Thank you, Monsieur." Penny got on and then Leonard hopped up beside her. They both leaned back against the glass and looked skyward.

"So there's the moon," she chuckled as she pointed to it. "Over there's the Big Dipper. And that's the end of my astronomy lesson for today."

"Well recognizing the moon does put you ahead of Zack," Leonard smirked.

"Why? What did Zack say?"

Leonard blanched. "Uh, not the Zack you know. Another Zack."

"Oh. Okay."

"So. Stars." Leonard casually moved his arms away from his sides so as to help dry his armpits. "Over there's Polaris or the North Star and over there, if you see the little star—" Leonard pointed to it and Penny leaned over to see. In that instant he caught a scent of green apple with just a hint of vanilla and his mind went momentarily blank.

"Okay, I see it." Silence. Penny looked to him. "Leonard?"

"What?"

"Star?"

"Oh, yeah." He cleared his throat. "If you follow that star into a house-like pattern that's Cepheus. It's to the right of the Little Dipper." He pointed. "Cepheus was a king of Ethiopia in Greek mythology." Again he cleared his throat. "Cepheus also has the hyperluminous quasar S5 0014+81, hosting an ultramassive black hole in its core at 40 billion solar masses, about 10 000 times more massive than the central black hole of the Milky Way, making it the most massive black hole known in the universe."

"Wow. How far away is it?"

"12.1 billion light years."

"Good. Hate to be sucked into that thing."

"Yeah, that would suck." Silence. Leonard's brain scrambled to remember what else he'd read about Sheldon's journal about the desert date. "Uh, another interesting thing about the quasar is its intensity. If the quasar was at the distance of 280 light years it would give as much energy per square meter as the Sun despite being 18 million times more distant. That makes the quasar's luminosity about 300 trillion times the Sun, or over 25 thousand times as luminous as all the 100 to 400 billion stars of the Milky Way Galaxy combined, making it one of the most powerful objects in the universe."

Penny whistled before turning her head towards Leonard. "You really know all about this stuff, don't you?"

"I'm a physicist," he said as he leaned over. "I've spent my life unravelling the mysteries of the universe."

Penny jerked her head back as if struck.

"What?" Leonard stammered.

"I—" Penny blanched, her mind racing, searching for something that didn't exist. "I want to go."

"Sure, sure," Leonard said and they both hastily got off the car. "Yeah, this is a bad idea. Y'know, we could catch a cold out here. Let's go see a movie."

"Sure," Penny said as they got into the car.

"Great. The Cineplex is showing a great one on dams," he grinned.

Penny nodded and smiled before turning her head to look at the stars out the side window.

XXX

"They opened another door," Amy said. "That's another sip of tea."

"All right," Sheldon said in a Texas twang. He took a big slurp of iced tea. "This Long Island variety has a mule-kick."

"Must be the ginger in it." She held up a dish. "Have a chocolate."

"Y'know, ginger was the first oriental spice cultivated in the New World." His eyes widened as Kirk, Spock and McCoy entered the transporter room on the television. "Another door." A sip of tea and— "Yeehaw!"

"Fascinating." Amy took up the remote and paused the television. "I think you've had enough tea for tonight."

"I suppose. My head feels swimmy."

"Maybe you need a good night's rest." Amy moved a little closer to him on the couch. "Sheldon, I'd like to discuss the possibility of altering our paradigm."

"The flower barrette in your hair is all sparkly," Sheldon said as his hand went to touch it. "What type of flower is it?"

"An Amy Blossom. But back to my point, I think we should formalize into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship."

"Why?" Sheldon hiccupped.

"We have a lot in common and I think we'd make suitable mates." Amy smiled. "We could create a whole new generation of benevolent overlords to rule the world."

"World domination. What a wonderful idea." Amy leaned in to kiss him just as Sheldon stood. "I can be Sheldon Khan, father of the new race of super men."

"You sperm. My eggs," Amy said excitedly as she stood beside him.

"All we need is an ovum." Immediately Sheldon stopped talking and he frowned. "Ovum. Maybe a waitress? They're a hearty breed."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Amy said hurriedly as she took Sheldon's arm. "Let's get you to bed."

They went to Sheldon's room and she plunked him on the bed before popping off his shoes. He fell over onto his pillow and Amy settled him in before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"All ready for sleep?" she asked.

"Mmhm." Sheldon closed his eyes.

"Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, little ball of fur," Amy sang. "Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, purr, purr, purr." She smiled at his little sigh.

"'Night Kitten," he mumbled as he dropped off to sleep.

XXX

"So, anyways, thanks for coming tonight," Leonard said as he pulled the car to the curb. "We have to do this again sometime." Penny's smile froze. "There's this amazing documentary about—"

"Spoilers, Leonard." Penny got out of the car and closed the door before knocking on the window. The window lowered. "What kind of black hole was that, again?"

"Supermassive."

"Supermassive." Penny thought a moment before slowly nodding her head. She smiled at him. "Goodnight Leonard."

Penny went to her building and opened the door to the lobby, all the while thinking about the black hole. It was something so vast and powerful it blew her mind.

"But not Sheldon's I bet." The elevator door opened just as she got there and she went to her floor.

"Cepheus, quasar, supermassive black hole," she repeated as she entered her apartment. Hopefully she could keep this all straight if she saw Sheldon again. For some reason she had an itch to challenge his brain.

She went into her bedroom and stripped into her pajamas. A flash of the desert stars crossed her mind and she shivered. Penny couldn't put her finger on it but there was something about tonight that seemed weird. It wasn't déjà vu exactly but it was—something. And now she felt incredibly sad.

Penny went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. She smiled at the organizational list Sheldon had left on her counter.

"That guy can really clean," she chucked and went to her couch. She turned on the television and flipped through the channel menu until she saw Star Trek listed on the SyFy Network. Without thinking she clicked to the channel and settled back on the couch to watch.

XXX

It was four in the morning when Leonard pulled into his parking spot at 2311 Los Robles. After he dropped off Penny he went for a long drive, only stopping for drive-thru coffee before continuing his meandering through Pasadena.

While driving, he went through every moment of their quasi-date. How vibrant Penny was until he used Sheldon's catch phrase. All Leonard wanted to do was invoke the warm sentiment of Sheldon's moment without triggering a now non-existent memory.

That's when he pulled over onto a side street, got out, and threw up the coffee.

"Can't wait to gargle tonight," Leonard mumbled as he trudged his way up the stairs. He pulled out his keys and quietly unlocked his door and entered the apartment.

"Oh! Sheldon," he said, surprised to see his still-clothed roommate sitting on the couch. "You didn't go to bed?"

Sheldon said nothing as his eyes focused on the flowered barrette he slowly spun with his fingers.

Leonard came over and sat next to him. "Sheldon?"

"I'm going crazy, Leonard," Sheldon said quietly.

"What makes you say that?"

"The things Amy and I do together. It's been done before and yet it hasn't."

Leonard's gut tightened. "You mean like déjà vu?"

Sheldon shrugged. "I've never been in a position to doubt my memory and now this." He held up the barrette. "I found it underneath my nightstand."

"Amy probably left it." Leonard's palms began to sweat. "I think she was wearing a flower in her hair tonight."

"She was. Only this one is red and I distinctly recall Amy's being blue."

"Maybe she had another one in her purse?"

Sheldon turned his head to Leonard. "Why would she have a barrette in her purse? And more importantly, why would she feel the need to take it out in my room?"

"Who knows how women think," Leonard said quickly as he got off the couch. "Come on, Sheldon, let's get you to bed."

"All right." Sheldon rose and Leonard put a hand on his roommate's back as the pair made their way down the hall.

"I'm sure this will all clear up in the morning."

Leonard waited until Sheldon closed the door before shaking his head.

"This is too much," he murmured and went off to his own room.

xTBBTx

Leonard paced in the living room with the apartment door open. He kept checking his watch. Raj had taken Sheldon to the comic book store, thus clearing the way for Leonard to have a talk with Amy.

At last familiar footsteps came up the stairs and Amy appeared in the hallway.

"Amy, we have to talk," Leonard stammered as he made his way to the door.

"So talk," she replied as she pulled out her keys and proceeded to stick them in her door lock.

"We can't hide this anymore. Sheldon's cracking up and—"

"He'll get over it."

"He saw Penny."

Amy turned to face Leonard, her stone expression unnerving him. "When?"

"A couple of weeks ago." Leonard cleared his throat. "So, anyways, maybe you should move out and—"

"I know what I should do, Leonard." She raised an eyebrow. "Need I remind you of your responsibilities?"

"I don't want to be involved."

"You drove Sheldon home from my office and kept your mouth shut." She snorted. "Besides, you're telling me that Penny wouldn't feel violated that her ex-boyfriend's roommate is trying to seduce her with Sheldon's memories?" She narrowed her eyes. "And don't tell me for a second you aren't using Sheldon and Penny's dating memories." Leonard paled and Amy chuckled. "Quit being so righteous. You're just like me."

Leonard staggered back into his apartment and closed the door. He went to the couch and flumped down in Sheldon's seat.

"I'm not like her," he said before thoughts of Sheldon and Penny came to mind with their Talk Like a Pirate Day costumes and Star Trek drinking games and the way Penny absolutely glowed when she told Leonard that Sheldon had kissed her.

Never in a million years did Leonard ever think that Sheldon would be interested in dating. Granted, it took Sheldon a while to warm up to the idea as he wanted to prove Penny wrong. Even when he spent nights over at 4B and held hands with Penny while watching Star Trek, he never admitted defeat and Penny never called him on it. They were a balance. Yin and Yang. Yes, they drove each other crazy at times but their passion made every moment in their rollercoaster relationship a hell of a ride.

There was no doubt Sheldon loved her but Leonard still couldn't understand why he went through Amy's procedure. Was having no Penny in his life worth the damage to his Beautiful Mind, particularly since all of this might have been for nothing? Science had done its best to keep them apart but it wasn't enough. They found each other and Leonard knew in his heart that Sheldon and Penny would always find each other.

Leonard patted the armrest even as he squared his jaw.

"I'm not like Amy," he said.

XXX

"I saw a Star Trek episode the other night," Penny said as Sheldon and she walked casually through the park.

"Which one?" he asked as he adjusted his backpack which carried a model rocket.

"I dunno. Star Trek," Penny shrugged, causing Sheldon to roll his eyes.

"Penny, Star Trek lasted three seasons comprising a total of 79 episodes."

"Okay, my bad," she said with a smirk. "All I remember is that they went to a planet, Uhura had an amazing hairdo and Kirk couldn't seem to keep his shirt on."

Sheldon stopped to scowl, taking in her grin. "You're intentionally provoking me."

"Naa, you're just intentionally stiff."

"Star Trek is a serious topic," he sniffed as they continued to walk.

"It's science fiction."

"With real world applications. For instance, the communicator predates our modern cell phone and we use variants of the tricorder to monitor things from heart rates to eventually identifying bacteria in the body through MRI technology."

"Wow. That's so totally like the Kardashians." Sheldon looked to Penny in shock. "I mean there was this episode where this woman was mixing up this gunk that was a folk cure for smooth skin and I thought, oh my God, is Kim gonna put it on? And she did and it was gross but afterwards she said that her skin was terrific but not like she was gonna do this at home or anything. But it got me thinking that if that book of folk stuff can get me nice skin for a fraction of the price of—"

Penny abruptly stopped talking when Sheldon's lips covered her own in a kiss.

A moment and then they parted, both blushing.

"Why did you do that?" she said.

"I wasn't sure how else to stop your blather," Sheldon replied.

Penny chuckled and they continued to walk. "So talking about Star Trek isn't blather?"

"Of course not, although I can see that you won't take the conversation seriously so I shall change topics."

"You want a serious topic. How about relationships and friendships?"

"What about them?"

Penny lightly poked him with her elbow. "You into any of them?"

"I have friends, yes," Sheldon said as he rubbed his arm where she had elbowed it.

"And a relationship?"

"Well, Amy Farrah Fowler says I took things to the next level regarding out relationship status."

Penny felt inexplicably disappointed. "Oh." She gave a half-shrug to get herself out of whatever it was she was feeling. "Well then, you shouldn't go around kissing other girls."

"I suppose, although until now I've never kissed a female apart from my sister, mother and Meemaw."

"Yeah, they don't count," Penny smirked.

"Are you in an established relationship?"

"Naw." She sighed and Sheldon felt relieved although he didn't know why. "I have no idea what I'm looking for or if I do he's taken." Penny smiled bitterly. "Like my girlfriend says about guys, there's two kinds in L.A.—the married and the unmarriable."

"I live in Pasadena."

Penny chuckled. "Are you always so precise?"

"I believe in accuracy," Sheldon sniffed. "Perhaps the better question would address your tendency to generalize."

"Everybody generalizes."

"See? There you go again." Sheldon shook his head. "Given our status as friends is limited to three outings, you've managed to generalize sixteen point—"

Sheldon never got to finish his point as Penny pulled down his head for easy access to his lips. Again they parted with blushes, although Penny's smile was of an impish quality.

"You're right, kissing does shut your yap," she said and then the two of them were still.

They stared at each other and then Sheldon's hand moved on autopilot as it went to move Penny's hair away from her face as though her hair was longer than it was.

Sheldon cleared his throat. "What is your favorite comic book?"

Penny blinked and then smiled. "You mean like Iron Man?"

"I'm more into the DC Universe," Sheldon said as they continued to walk. He noted Penny's blank look. "Think Bat-Man or Superman."

"So no Robert Downey Jr.?" Penny gave a mock sigh. "Too bad. He's got a killer smile and that butt—"

"Judging a man by his buttocks?" Sheldon tsked. "Really, Penny."

"Why not?" She stopped a step so she could lean back to see Sheldon's backside before straightening up. "You've got a nice one there, yourself."

"Incorrigible," Sheldon sighed.

Penny took his hand. "Yup."

xTBBTx

Wikipedia: Cepheus; S5 0014+81; Ginger


	6. Chapter 6

"Dude, are you sure about this?" Raj whispered as Howard picked the lock of Amy's Institute office.

"Sheldon won't believe me without proof," Leonard whispered back.

"I still don't buy his undergoing surgery to forget Penny," Howard said. The lock turned and the door opened. "I mean her, I understand, but Doctor Eidetic Memory?"

They entered the office. Immediately the detector in Raj's hand went off.

"She has an alarm," he said and traced the signal to the control box. Howard then took out what looked like a futuristic device from his fanny pack and pressed a few buttons.

"And that, gentlemen, is that," he grinned. "Alarm neutralized."

"Where did you get that?" Leonard asked.

"A friend of mine at the defense department," Howard said as he returned the device to his black fanny pack.

"Ooo, now I really feel like we're cat-burglars," Raj gushed.

"I thought we agreed we're ninjas," Howard hissed back as the trio made their way along the hall to Amy's inner office.

"So what are we looking for?" Raj asked as he frowned at Howard.

"Anything that says Sheldon or Penny," Leonard replied and they spread out in the room to search.

"What's this?" Raj picked up a jar on Amy's book shelf that had three globs floating in a solution. He read the label and quickly set it down. "Ugh. Brain tumors." His eyes then took in the monkey skull, framed cross section of a human brain and various other creepy things. "What kind of doctor is she again?"

"A psycho one." Howard popped the lock on the filing cabinet and opened it up to find a vast array of files with people's names on them. "Hit the mother lode." He began flipping through the files until he found Penny's. "Bingo."

"There's a drawer in her desk that's locked," Leonard said as he took the proffered file. He moved aside to give Howard access to the desk and opened the file. "Huh. There's a flash drive in here." He gave it to Raj and the astrophysicist quickly pulled out the micro laptop from his backpack. Leonard began looking through the papers.

"Got it." Howard opened the drawer and sifted through the folders in there until he found one labeled 'Sheldon Cooper'. He set it on the desk and looked through it. "Not a lot here." He picked up a letter that had Leonard's name on it. "This is addressed to you."

Leonard took it and read. "This is the letter she mailed to me. Sheldon took it when he came over here."

"It appears to be a bunch of brain algorithms and a massive .wav file," Raj said as he scanned the flash drive. He copied it and handed it back to Leonard. "Sheldon have one?" Howard tossed him the drive and Raj checked it. "Odd. Nothing here but a .wav file." He copied it and gave it back to Howard.

"Let's get some pictures and get out of here," Leonard said as he pocketed his letter.

"I hear and obey," Howard replied as he pulled out a micro digital camera from his fanny pack and began taking pictures of the files.

"See, this is something a cat-burglar would do," Raj snorted. Howard stopped to regard him. "Ninjas. Pfft."

XXX

Sheldon came up the stairs to his apartment. He'd gone out for sushi with Penny which then turned into a late-night caramel crunch slice of cake at a cafe. Normally he didn't like sweets after dinner but Penny really wanted it so he—

He shook his head. "Madness." He entered his apartment to find Leonard, Raj and Howard sitting in the living room with grim looks on their faces. On the coffee table was an assortment of notebooks and a laptop.

"Sit down, buddy," Leonard said gently. Sheldon obliged.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Raj and I are going for a walk," Howard said as the pair rose from their seats. "Text us when we should come back." They exited the apartment.

"That's odd, I don't ever recall Howard being polite," Sheldon quipped.

"Sheldon, just shut up and listen," Leonard said.

"I'm listening."

"Good." Leonard took a breath. "First of all, I owe you a big apology."

"For what?"

Leonard's eyes went to his hands, his thumbs nervously twiddling. "Did you ever meet someone who was kind and beautiful and funny and perfect and you wanted desperately for her to like you but she liked your roommate, instead? You see them get closer together then something big happens and they break up and just when you think you'll never meet her again, you get this strange letter in the mail that changes everything." He picked up a piece of paper on the coffee table and handed it to Sheldon.

A look of confusion came to Sheldon's face as he read. "This pertains to Penny. But I just met Penny."

"No, you didn't. You met four years ago," Leonard said. Sheldon lowered the paper to regard his roommate. "Penny lived across the hall from us. You two just hit it off as friends and then you got together until it ended and, well, this."

Sheldon looked over the paper. "Why is this written on Amy Farrah Fowler's institute letterhead?"

"When Penny left she went to the institute and had you erased."

"That's preposterous!" Sheldon got up from his seat. "You don't just erase someone!"

"That's what happened," Leonard said gently.

"That's brain damage! This joke has gone on long enough." Sheldon stormed past Leonard. The very idea that Penny would agree to brain damage to forget him was stupid. Besides, that would—

 _"At first I thought it was kinda weird but cute, y'know? Knock knock knock Penny. Knock knock knock Penny. Knock knock knock Penny. But after a while it gets kinda annoying."_

 _"Tell me about this."_

 _"Oh, yeah. The organizational paper he left me for cleaning my apartment. I mean, the guy broke in and cleaned it in the middle of the night! I should have learned my lesson right there. He's so particular where things are and every time we're at my place he's wanting to clean it. Even when we kiss I know he's uncomfortable because I know he's thinking about my sweatshirt on the couch or that I left an empty chip bag on the coffee table."_

 _"And this?"_

 _"A recipe for snickerdoodles his Meemaw sent me. I was doing my best to get her Moonpie warmed up to be less of an asshat."_

 _"Moonpie?"_

 _"Yeah. It's what she calls him... It's what I call him when we're alone and he's really sweet and..."_

Sheldon returned to the couch and flumped down to listen to Penny and Amy talk.

 _"And this?"_

 _"A Tribble. He got it for me for my birthday. I thought it was a pom-pom but it's a thingie from Star Trek. He's always going on about Star Trek, Star Wars, Star Whatever. I mean, there are other things to talk about besides, 'warp speed, Mr. Sulu'... Still, I guess it's because he was alone a lot... He said that when his parents fought he'd be up in his room pretending to be Spock. That he didn't feel anything, only, Sheldon feels a lot. More than he lets on. Everyone thinks he's such a cold robot but he's really not. When he talks about his Meemaw it's obvious he loves her... I just wish he said he loved me, too..."_

"Stop it," Sheldon said and Leonard clicked on the laptop.

Silence.

Sheldon gently cleared his throat. "Even if I accept this premise that Penny erased me from her memories, it doesn't explain why I don't remember her."

Leonard clicked on another file.

 _"Are you all right, Dr. Cooper?"_

 _"I think it's the stress. I should go."_

 _The sound of something heavy hitting the floor._

 _"Dr. Cooper? Sheldon?" ... The sounds of something opening and suddenly the sound quality improved. ... "Case number Confidential One. Subject, Cooper, Sheldon. This will be my first attempt outside the lab to eliminate core memories without a preparatory scan. As Sheldon has an eidetic memory, however, I don't have to be as precise as large chunks of memory can be removed without harming his basic functions. According to my experiments on rhesus monkeys, critical disruption of core memories will—"_

Leonard stopped the audio file as Sheldon darted to the washroom to throw up. He got up and followed, stopping at the washroom entrance while Sheldon was on his knees purging.

"i thought you were willing, Sheldon," Leonard said. "I didn't know." Sheldon did his best to catch his breath before succumbing to a new wave of nausea. "Amy had me collect everything in the apartment and at your office that was linked to Penny and give it to her. I must have missed the Penny Blossom. But I couldn't get rid of everything. You should read your journals. She's in there a lot." Sheldon dry heaved and then stopped. A moment and then he flushed the toilet. "What do you want me to do?"

Sheldon rose to his feet. "Leave me everything and go." His eyes were fierce. "And don't say a word to Amy."

"Not a problem. Raj, Howard and I broke into her office to get this stuff."

"Why?"

"Because you're going to call this unscientific hooey but I got to see science do its best to stamp out love and yet you and Penny found each other again." Leonard gave a little shrug. "That can't be wrong."

Leonard left Sheldon to clean up. When Sheldon returned to the living room Leonard was gone. Sheldon sat in his spot on the couch and turned the laptop so it faced him and clicked on Penny's recording. When he reached for a notebook he noticed a framed paper of some sort resting on top. He picked it up and realized it was a napkin, and a signed one at that:

To Sheldon, Live long and prosper. Leonard Nimoy.

Sheldon fought down another wave of nausea. He had absolutely no memory of this item. He turned it over and on the backside of the frame was a sticker with 'Merry Saturnalia Moonpie! Love P' written on it. Sheldon traced the 'P' with his finger before resting the napkin on his lap.

Taking up one of his journals, he flipped to the bookmark Leonard had left and began to read:

Sheldon's Log. Stardate 319206.53345383063

Today Leonard and I met our new neighbour across the hall. Her name is Penny and is a major improvement over Louis/Louise. Leonard invited her in to share our Indian food, even though there was only enough for two people, and we found out that she is from Nebraska, believes in astrology and is completely insane for loving someone who cheated on her. On the other hand, she did recognize my genius when she looked over my whiteboard. I was a 'beautiful mind genius guy'. Oh, Penny, if you only knew that I was thirty IQ points+ over a genius...

XXX

Sheldon made to knock at Penny's door but hesitated for a moment. He thought about the recording, then pursed his lips. He was going to be himself and if she didn't like that— _She didn't. She erased me_ —that was her problem.

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Penny."

Inside the apartment, Penny looked up from her Enquirer magazine.

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Penny."

Smiling, she got up from the couch and went to the door.

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Penny."

She opened the door. "You do realize this is a small apartment and that I heard you—"

Sheldon handed her a folder and a digital recorder.

"What's this?" she asked as she took the items.

"It's up to you to decide," he said and walked away.

"Sheldon, wait!" He turned the corner and that was that. Penny looked down at the folder. It had a label with her name on it. "Huh."

She closed the door and went to the couch and sat before opening the folder. Inside was a bunch of papers with a handwritten letter— _Sheldon?_ —on top. It said, 'play the recorder and read the file'. Penny did so and immediately her mouth dropped as she heard her own voice. She listened to herself go on about Sheldon, mentioning quirks and moments with him that she had no memory of experiencing.

"What the hell's this?" Penny turned off the recorder and began reading the papers. The first one said that Leonard wasn't supposed to mention her previous relationship with Sheldon. The rest were release forms with her signatures and initials all over them.

Forms that said she agreed to let a Dr. Fowler erase her memories.

"This is bullshit." Penny took up her phone from the coffee table and dialed Sheldon. It went to his voicemail and she listened to his voice but hung up without leaving a message. Yes, Sheldon was a whackadoodle and a half, but to pull something like this?

Penny resumed playing the recorder. The recollections or whatever they were called stretched across the gamut from annoying moments to funny, cute and oh so angry. What Penny didn't like was how tired she sounded. How incredibly sad.

Tears slid down her face as she grabbed a throw pillow to hug. All of these memories, gone.

Did Sheldon know? A wave of anger washed over her and again she dialed his number only to hang up.

Penny needed answers. She looked at the letterhead. And Dr. Fowler was the one with the answers.

XXX

At Sheldon's knocking, Amy opened her apartment door to find him in a gray button-down shirt and beige slacks carrying a bottle of wine, dvd and a box of chocolates.

"Why Sheldon, this is a surprise," she said, her face flushing with excitement.

"As you said we had taken our relationship to the next level I did some research on the subject and am here to up the ante, as it were." Before Amy could do anything, Sheldon leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before moving past her into the apartment.

She let out a "Hoo" and closed the door.

"I thought we'd watch Hannah's Anecdote, a documentary of a woman with a brain tumor, during which we can drink wine, eat chocolates and see where the evening takes us," Sheldon said as he set the wine accoutrements and chocolates on the coffee table before going to the dvd player.

"That sounds so romantic." Amy sat on the couch and quickly undid the top two buttons of her shirt.

Sheldon returned to the couch and sat. He opened the wine and poured it into the glasses and handed one to Amy.

"To a memorable night," he said. Both drank. He then opened the box of ornate chocolates and popped one into his mouth. "Have a chocolate." Amy selected one and ate it.

"Delicious."

They settled into watching the documentary. Within a few minutes Amy began to yawn. She shook herself to wake up. Setting the wine on the table, she then ate another chocolate.

"Something wrong?" Sheldon asked.

"I'm tired. Just need some chocolate to regain my energy."

"I see." He brought the box to her. "Have a cherry one. They're delicious."

She took it and popped it into her mouth. As she chewed another wave of tiredness came over her. Only when she swallowed did Amy realize that Sheldon was blurry. She tried to stand but her body failed her.

"Sheldon," she mumbled and then nodded off...

XXX

Amy heard voices. Leonard and Sheldon. Sheldon.

Her eyes opened to a brightly lit room. A very familiar one.

"What are we doing here?" she said as she tried to get off of the examining table only to discover that she was tied down and had electrodes attached to her temples and forehead.

"We're back to the scene of the crime," Sheldon said coldly as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to the elbow.

She looked around her treatment room and saw Leonard prepping the anesthetic mask.

"Sheldon you can't," she pleaded. "You don't know what you're doing!"

"Amy, Amy, Amy. You forget I've an eidetic memory. I read over your notes and this really isn't all that complicated," he said. "Of course, I am brain damaged so there might be some complications."

Amy shivered at the coldness of his voice. She noticed a movement behind her and she looked up to see Leonard moving the anesthetic mask to her face.

The last thing she heard was the hissing of the gas...

XXX

Penny sat curled up on her couch with a cup of coffee in her hands. It had been a long night since she didn't sleep. She listened to the recording several times trying to—what? Remember what she couldn't?

She noted the time on her phone and took a last swig of coffee before setting down the mug and getting up. After a quick shower she got dressed, grabbed her purse and the Penny file and left.

As she drove Penny thought about what she was going to say to Dr. Fowler. After all, it wasn't like someone had a gun to Penny's head to do this.

"Maybe she can bring the memories back," Penny mumbled as she changed lanes. She then remembered the note about memory removals causing brain damage. "Shit."

Penny pulled next to a curb and got out. She put some coins into the meter and proceeded to Dr. Fowler's building. As she approached she noticed a short, blonde haired woman talking with a police officer. The officer nodded and went into the building.

"Excuse me," Penny said. "Is this the building for The Fowler Neurological Institute?"

"Yes it is," Bernadette replied. "But there's been an accident so it's closed until further notice."

"Ah. Do you work there?"

"I'm the medical receptionist."

"Do you remember me?"

Bernadette shook her head. "I'm sorry, I don't."

Penny was disappointed. "My name's Penny and I got this—"

"I remember a tall guy stormed into the office asking about a Penny. He was really angry. Looked like a praying mantis."

"Like psycho angry?" Penny asked.

"Hurt angry. I see that a lot." Bernadette sighed. "It's hard finding out you're forgotten. Personally, I couldn't do what Dr. Fowler's clients do because it means the good memories go with the bad." She shook her head. "It really hurts me when I see a person come in wondering what happened to their girlfriend or wife. You see the hurt and confusion and anger, but most of all you really do see the love and I think it's sad that people just can't work things out."

"Yeah." Penny gave a weak smile and returned to her car. She plunked the file on the passenger's seat and drove off.

A few blocks away, she pulled up to another curb and got out. She grabbed herself a latte at Starbucks and before she returned to the car, made a pit stop in the side ally. Penny opened the lid to the big garbage box and tossed in the file. With a satisfied slam the box was closed and Penny left the ally.

Only one more stop.

Once at 2311 Los Robles, she got out of the car and went inside the building to Sheldon's floor. For a moment Penny lost the nerve to knock but recalled the stories on the recorder. Sheldon and Penny.

"Shenny," she whispered and knocked.

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Sheldon."

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Sheldon."

 _Knock Knock Knock_ "Sheldon."

The door opened and a pajama-clad Sheldon appeared. He looked as tired as she felt.

"I thought my knocks were annoying?" he said quietly.

Penny stepped forward and swallowed him in a hug, her head resting against his chest. She felt his arms encircle her.

"I thought you didn't like hugs?" she sniffled.

"I don't. But you do."

They parted to regard each other.

"We're too different," Penny said.

Sheldon took her hand and led her into the apartment to the coffee table. He handed her the Nimoy napkin. Penny read it and turned it over to see her handwriting on the back.

"'Love P'," she said softly.

"Sheldon's Log, Stardate 318017.60356582666," Sheldon began. Penny looked up to see him reading from a journal. "Penny gave me the best gift I've ever received. Not only was the napkin signed by Leonard Nimoy, but he also wiped his mouth with it. I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy!"

Sheldon gently cleared his throat, his eyes flashed to Penny before he continued reading.

"At first glance, it would be easy to say that I've been misunderstood all my life, but that would be incorrect. The fact is, very few have bothered to try and understand me. For all our verbal sparring and prank wars, with this gift Penny demonstrated that she does understand me. Is she more astute than I've given her credit for or have I made myself vulnerable, I can't say. All I know is that she has changed my life for the better. Merry Christmas, Penny."

Sheldon closed the journal. "There's more, if you'd like to listen."

"I would."

Sheldon settled into his spot and Penny sat down beside him. He turned to another entry but before he could say anything Penny leaned over and kissed him. When he looked at her quizzically she smiled.

"Just making a new memory," she winked. Sheldon smiled and she snuggled against him.

"Sheldon's Log," he began. "Stardate 319538.042998478. Penny and I went to the putt-putt..."

XXX

A/N: I'm wrapping up my fan fiction involvement in the fandom. I want to thank you all for reading my fictions over the years. From a tale of acute mysophobia, through a journey into the afterlife, a reimagining of Sheldon and Penny's first meeting, to a rewrite of the current show, with a stop in between for an Artificial Intelligence love story, you've honoured me with your insightful and encouraging comments and, more importantly, for taking the time out of your day to read my work.

A note for those aspiring to be writers—if you've got a vision, write it. When I first started I had one review on my first chapter of Daily Occurrences—and it was a complaint! I felt disheartened but I continued, a) because I had written out the story in full and I was not gonna let it sit on my hd and b) I believed in it.

I've received three pieces of advice from reviewers about writing that I'd like to share. 1) Treat your story with the respect it deserves. -So no shortcuts in writing, songfic inserts, or posting without editing. You have to let your ideas be seen in their best light and that's through a story that's written with your best effort. 2) A story will tell you how long it's going to be. –Don't worry if it's 100 or 100,000 words, just write out the story. 3) Don't be afraid to write what you want to write. –Ignore the trolls and don't be afraid to introduce your readership to something new. Yes, you might lose some of them but if your writing skills are sound they'll keep checking for future fics (and might even give the new fic a shot!).

Be experimental! Try something different! Fanfiction is such an awesome medium in which to spread your wings because we're already here because we've looked at our favourite show or movie or book and wondered, 'what if...?', and in that moment Canon is to the wayside and we're wholly in the imagination.

Thanks so much for giving me a place to gain confidence as I relearned how to write.

All the best to you and yours, my fellow dreamers. *Lynn


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